where am i from again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
