i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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