My hair reeks of homosexuality.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
3 2 1 whiskey
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
