Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
