so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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