Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
