i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
