No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im holly from the hills drunk
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
