That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He felt like a one man threesome
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
