I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
