I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
