Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
