i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
