so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
