Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
