Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
