Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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