As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
