Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
