ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
