you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
