I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
