I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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