I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
