he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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