I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
