By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
