come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
