Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
