Screwed.edu
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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