she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
