I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
