I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
