I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
