Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
