I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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