I'm going to jail i love you
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
