bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
