she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
