There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize