we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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