Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
