Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
