apparently the secret to your success is patron
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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