the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
