I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
