dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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