i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
