So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
