i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Come share oat with me in your robe
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
