if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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