Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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