I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize