I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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