Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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