As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i came on her dog
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm always down for nudity.
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