and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
