sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
