carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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