the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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