We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
